http://www.thenewscolumn.com No news is safe. Thu, 29 Nov 2007 21:05:59 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en CNN reports, Gillian Gibbons, a British school teacher working in Sudan, has been charged under Article 125 of Sudan’s constitution with offending religion and inciting hatred. As part of a class project, Gibbons asked her students to pick their favorite name for a teddy bear, the new class mascot.  They chose ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/29/prophet-teddy-bears-lashings/ NBC’s “Last Call with Carson Daly” will resume production this week defying the Writers Guild of America strike. The West branch of the Guild said in a statement, “We’re especially appalled at Mr. Daly’s call for non-Guild writers to provide him with jokes.” This should come as no surprise however, as anyone ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/29/daly-to-resume-show-no-one-watches/ Drew Peterson, the husband of Stacy Peterson and lead suspect in her recent disappearance, turned the cameras on the media giving them a taste of their own medicine. While shoving his own camera in the faces of reporters, Peterson called them out on violations of trespassing. One reporter said, “I get what ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/28/peterson-%e2%80%98how-do-you-like-it%e2%80%99/   Doctors shocked Vice President Dick Cheney’s irregularly beating heart Monday to restore its normal rhythm. It is believed the singing of holiday music triggered the irregularity. Doctors warned that without preventative shock therapy, Cheney’s heart could have grown by as much as three times the size that day. While not immediately life ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/27/cheneys-shocking-heart-condition/   Senator Edward Kennedy has tentatively scheduled his memoirs to come out in 2010 with the Hatchette Book Group USA. Unconfirmed reports indicate Kennedy’s memoirs will be published as a two-in-one hardcover/beer cozy. http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/27/ted-kennedy-memoirs/   Soldiers manning a checkpoint near Baghdad apprehended two known terrorists Monday, one of whom was wearing a wedding dress. The soldiers manning the checkpoint suspected foul play when they noticed the ‘bride’ had more facial hair than the groom. Radical Jihadists are calling the event an isolated case of hazing that shouldn’t ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/27/terrorists-may-face-hazing-charges/ A recent poll reveals voters favor candidate Barack Obama’s candid talk about his past experimentation with drugs. When asked whether or not he ever inhaled marijuana, Obama responded, “Yes... that was the point.” http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/25/obama-smokes-poll/ The Associated Press reports out of Green Bay, Wisconsin that 96,000 pounds of ground beef have voluntarily been recalled. Wisconsinites everywhere are mourning the loss of what they are calling the most delicious tragedy in the past decade. When reached for comment, Milton Hill of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin was left speechless ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/25/beef-is-not-whats-for-dinner/ The 2002 No Child Left Behind act was designed to hold every public school to certain standards ensuring that the American education system remains among the best in the world. Each year, more and more schools aren’t measuring up, and it appears ‘stupid’ children are to blame. The No Child Left Behind ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/24/stupid-children-to-blame/ A Canadian cruise ship struck ice off Antarctica puncturing a fist sized hole in the hull. Responding to the sinking ship’s distress signal, a Norwegian liner rescued all 154 passengers and crew. What’s more surprising than the accident itself, is the fact that 154 people were actually willing to take a cruise ... http://www.thenewscolumn.com/2007/11/23/one-more-reason-to-never-go-to-antarctica/