Prophet Teddy Bears Lashings

CNN reports, Gillian Gibbons, a British school teacher working in Sudan, has been charged under Article 125 of Sudan’s constitution with offending religion and inciting hatred.
As part of a class project, Gibbons asked her students to pick their favorite name for a teddy bear, the new class mascot.  They chose the name Mohammed.
Within the Islamic […]

Daly to Resume Show No One Watches

NBC’s “Last Call with Carson Daly” will resume production this week defying the Writers Guild of America strike.
The West branch of the Guild said in a statement, “We’re especially appalled at Mr. Daly’s call for non-Guild writers to provide him with jokes.”
This should come as no surprise however, as anyone who’s ever seen the show […]

Peterson, ‘How do you like it?’

Drew Peterson, the husband of Stacy Peterson and lead suspect in her recent disappearance, turned the cameras on the media giving them a taste of their own medicine.
While shoving his own camera in the faces of reporters, Peterson called them out on violations of trespassing.
One reporter said, “I get what he’s doing and why he’s […]

Cheney’s Shocking Heart Condition

 
Doctors shocked Vice President Dick Cheney’s irregularly beating heart Monday to restore its normal rhythm.
It is believed the singing of holiday music triggered the irregularity. Doctors warned that without preventative shock therapy, Cheney’s heart could have grown by as much as three times the size that day.
While not immediately life threatening, if that were to […]

Ted Kennedy Memoirs

 
Senator Edward Kennedy has tentatively scheduled his memoirs to come out in 2010 with the Hatchette Book Group USA.
Unconfirmed reports indicate Kennedy’s memoirs will be published as a two-in-one hardcover/beer cozy.

Terrorists May Face Hazing Charges

 
Soldiers manning a checkpoint near Baghdad apprehended two known terrorists Monday, one of whom was wearing a wedding dress.
The soldiers manning the checkpoint suspected foul play when they noticed the ‘bride’ had more facial hair than the groom.
Radical Jihadists are calling the event an isolated case of hazing that shouldn’t reflect upon the entire terrorist […]

Obama Smokes Poll

A recent poll reveals voters favor candidate Barack Obama’s candid talk about his past experimentation with drugs.
When asked whether or not he ever inhaled marijuana, Obama responded, “Yes… that was the point.”

Beef Is Not What’s For Dinner

The Associated Press reports out of Green Bay, Wisconsin that 96,000 pounds of ground beef have voluntarily been recalled.
Wisconsinites everywhere are mourning the loss of what they are calling the most delicious tragedy in the past decade.
When reached for comment, Milton Hill of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin was left speechless as a single tear rolled […]

‘Stupid’ Children to Blame

The 2002 No Child Left Behind act was designed to hold every public school to certain standards ensuring that the American education system remains among the best in the world.
Each year, more and more schools aren’t measuring up, and it appears ‘stupid’ children are to blame.
The No Child Left Behind act ties federal funding to […]

One More Reason To Never Go To Antarctica

A Canadian cruise ship struck ice off Antarctica puncturing a fist sized hole in the hull.
Responding to the sinking ship’s distress signal, a Norwegian liner rescued all 154 passengers and crew.
What’s more surprising than the accident itself, is the fact that 154 people were actually willing to take a cruise to Antarctica - the least […]